Miami Mishap

Bit of a mishap on my flight to Miami yesterday.

Having just eaten a surprisingly nice pasta meal with a (plastic) glass of red wine, I fall asleep. The plane is rocking quite a bit – seatbelt sign permanently on – when I suddenly wake up feeling really sick.

‘Let me out, quick.’ I say to husband in the outside seat.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Let me out, I feel sick.’

Husband doesn’t move quickly, but I manage to get out onto the aisle. I probably should have mentioned to him that I also feel really light-headed.

The bathroom is only a few rows behind me, but the last thing I remember is putting my hand out to open the door.

‘Are you alright, Mam? Are you alright? She’s opening her eyes.’

I slowly become aware that I am the ‘Mam’ being referred to and a hysterical flight attendant is narrating what has apparently happened to me, in a strong southern American accent.

‘She went down like a ragdoll. Oh my God I got such a fright. I never heard such a bang.

Mam? Mam? Is your head sore? You hit it so hard?

‘What’s your name? What’s your name?’

I whisper ‘Maria.’

‘She’s speaking. She’s speaking.’

I’m now aware enough to hear the tannoy requesting medical assistance for someone at the back of the plane and soon there’s a man on hunkers beside me.

‘Are you a doctor?’ asks Hysterical Attendant.

‘I’m a dentist.’

‘Bloody great,’ I think.

Then there’s another man with a small grey beard. ‘I’m a doctor,’ he announces.

Thankfully Doctor trumps Dentist who goes back to his seat.

Now hysterical attendant puts an oxygen mask around my head. It’s really loose and I can’t feel any air coming through it. I think she might be looking up the manual to see what she should do next.

After putting a blanket on me she says; ‘We’ll take her blood pressure. Can you do that?’

‘I’m a doctor,’ said calm professional Finnish man, and we both look pityingly at each other.

A small wrist monitor is put around my wrist. ‘120 over 77’ Doctor announces, smiling.

‘Is that ok? Is that bad?’ Hysterical asks.

‘It’s like a teenager,’ he laughs.

‘I think I just fainted.’ I finally speak.

I’m now aware of another woman, behind the doctor. She’s speaking to Hysterical.

‘Do you two know each other?’ Hysterical asks Calm Doctor. ‘This lady is a nurse.’

‘No.’

‘Imagine, they’re both from Finland and they don’t know each other.’

Calm Doctor and I exchange pitying looks again.

‘Would you like to sit up?’ he asks.

‘Yes, I’m feeling a bit better now.’

‘Would you like a glass of water?’

‘Yes please?’

‘Oh my God, she’s going to have such a bump on her head. The same thing happened to me on a flight one time and I banged my head so hard. I never heard such a bang.’

I’m not listening now. I’m thanking the doctor and the nurse he doesn’t know and reassuring Husband that I will probably live after all. And I stand up to slowly return to my seat in row 43 as if nothing ever happened.